SLAMMED, SWAMPED, & SPINNING:

Systems for staying organized when life gets crazy-busy

I’m kinda obsessed with sticky notes.

I depend on them. I have a lot going on, and sticky notes help me remember all I need to do and keep me organized.

I used to say I had a pretty “full plate.” But these days, I feel like I have a twelve-course meal going on at all times, and every single plate is overflowing. If I don’t write things down, I will inevitably forget something. Thus, sticky notes.

If you're wondering why I don't use the "Notes" section in my phone like a normal person - I do. I use it for my daily to-do list, but sometimes I neglect to look at it at the right time and can still miss something.

When I was in high school…before I discovered my sticky note system, and before iPhones….I’d write important things on my hand. And to this day, when I am still paranoid about forgetting, I write it on my hand. This is like the flashing neon sign, failsafe, extra precaution.

At this point, you might have one of two responses. Either you’re thinking, “I can relate. I am that busy myself.” (Moms of littles feel me on this one, I imagine.) Or, you might be concerned for me. Like, “Hey, maybe you should get this memory issue checked out, Brittany…” You’re not wrong.

But, like a lot of us, I am just really busy, and it’s easy to overlook or forget to do something.

The thing is, I know this about myself, so I make these extra efforts to counteract that tendency I have to forget.

If you can relate to what I am talking about (and the U.S. is the most overworked nation in the world, so I bet you can), then you know when you have that many plates spinning at once, something is going to eventually crash.

So how can we keep everything running smoothly and ensure we don’t drop the ball, neglect something important, get too overwhelmed, or altogether lose our minds?? It’s my experience that we need to have systems in place to keep us sane.

Here’s a few things I’ve found to be helpful for a life of spinning plates...

Cirque Mei, Chinese circus at Segerstrom Center in California.

First, find the time.

One way that I make sure important things happen, from remembering birthdays and anniversaries to the bigger projects and deadlines, is to use a calendar.

Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before is one of my top five favorite books of all time. It literally changed my life, and I cannot recommend it highly enough to someone who wants to have more control over their days and life in general. Rubin says, “If it’s on the calendar, it happens.” Plain and simple.

This is where my iPhone comes in handy. Everything goes on my calendar. Everything.

The next time a friend says to you, “We should grab lunch sometime!” Respond by pulling out your phone and saying, “How does next Friday work?” Put it on the calendar right then and there. (Unless of course you have no desire to meet that friend, in which case just stick with the tried and true, “Totally!” and let it lie - literally and metaphorically speaking.)

Second, first thing's first.

You've decided what you're gonna do and you put it on the calendar. But your plan is going to stay in the realm of theory unless you figure out the steps for execution of that plan.

Whoever said, “It’s the thought that counts,” was just lazy. I mean, would you rather have your partner say to you, “Happy Anniversary honey!” and acknowledge the day in some way; or tell you later that they thought about it? I’m sorry, but the thought totally does not count in my book.

Intentions are great. Actions are superior.

Let’s say on your to-do list at any given moment is eight different tasks. Pick ONE task to begin with, and write down each thing that needs to happen for you to achieve it. Next, set aside a day to do it. An hour to do it. Then do it.

If you tell yourself you are going to do all the things on your list, you will do exactly NONE of the things. So start small. Then cross that off your list and move onto the next one…wash, rinse, repeat.

“How we schedule our days is how we spend our lives.” - Gretchen Rubin, Better Than Before

Third, focus on what matters.

By this I mean figure out what’s most important to you, and why. Then, prioritize. But - and here’s the key - do it ruthlessly.

Is there something standing in your way, preventing you from accomplishing your task? Get rid of it. Are there people in your life that drain you so much, you’re too exhausted to focus on what you need to? Get rid of those people.

Then, get honest with yourself. Take a look at your habits and see if there is anything keeping you from doing what you need to do. If so, then it’s time to form new habits.

For example, are you in the habit of putting everyone else first?

Women do this one a lot: we put everyone's needs ahead of our own, so there is nothing left for us at the end of the day. Stop that habit. Make a new one: do something for yourself before you do everything for everyone else. Get up early and do yoga or work out. If you’re not a morning person, do it later (just be sure to put a precise time in your calendar for when you are going to do it). Don’t like exercising? Then just get up a little early and have coffee by yourself while you scroll social media.

Find time in your day where you do something just because you enjoy it and it makes you happy. Some might call you selfish for doing this. Those people don’t have your best interest at heart. It's not selfish, it's self-care. You need to do that first so you can take on all the things on your to-do list, and so you can better care for those who rely on you.

On my best days, I get up early enough to exercise, and have quiet time with my Bible. But real talk: most days lately, I'm too tired. So, as I type this, I know I need to change the habit I’ve made of snoozing my alarm three times before I get out of bed. Better yet, I need to go to sleep earlier the night before so I am not feeling the urge to repeatedly hit snooze.

The truth is that often life gets so busy that we easily lose sight of what matters. Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves. So, while we are staying super busy, we need to be careful that we are not keeping busy in order to neglect what we really ought to be focusing on.

“Crazy-busy' is a great armor, it's a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we're feeling and what we really need can't catch up with us.”

- Brene Brown

Basically, everything Brene Brown says is gospel for me. I love her. But when I first read this quote about using “crazy-busy” as armor to avoid the truth of how we are actually feeling, I felt downright attacked.

That’s because I have used “busyness” as a mask to cover a serious problem I wanted to avoid addressing.

When I was in an awful marriage, I stayed “crazy-busy.” I kept myself so busy that it wasn’t until my head hit the pillow at night that I was able to think about how miserable I was. I did that for so long, it’s now pretty easy for me to see when others are doing it.

And I get it. But what I hope you hear is that the busyness, the avoidance, it only serves to temporarily disguise the thing you don't want to deal with. And I hope and pray that if this is what you are doing, that you will realize sooner rather than later that your own mental well-being is too high a price to pay.

When it comes to forming better habits, we’ve got to be honest with ourselves about the fact that we need to change our environments to allow for better decision making. But this is not easy to do, because it will mean we have to actually change, and change is HARD.

This leads me to my final point, and how a strong faith life can help keep you centered in the midst of life’s busyness.

Finally, follow wisdom.

Some form of the word “remember” is used in the Bible between 240-550 times. I tried to look up an exact number, but there is too much variation.

My point is that the biblical authors had a lot to say about the importance of remembering God’s promises. For the people of Israel, it was a crucial aspect of their faith, to remember. To remember how God had brought them through slavery and exile and into the Promised Land. To remember God’s covenant, the teachings of the prophets, and the commands of the law.

In Jewish tradition, there is a beautiful idea of internalizing God’s words, and of binding wisdom onto one’s heart. There are countless times in Proverbs where the author says to “bind these words of instruction to your heart, fasten them around your neck like a necklace” (Proverbs 6:21). Proverbs 7:3 says of God’s commands to, “Bind them on your fingers, write them on the tablet of your heart.”

From the opening to the closing pages of the Bible, it speaks of remembering. From the story of Noah and the flood in Genesis chapter nine, when God sends a rainbow that will be a sign “to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature,” to Revelation 3:3 and the call to, “Remember what you have received and heard; and keep it, and repent.”

The Bible does not just include words meant to help us to remember God, but it also holds promises that God will not forget us. The Psalms are full of claims that God will remember his covenant with his people.

One of my very favorite verses in all of Scripture is Isaiah 49:15-16, where the Lord says, "I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands."

The things we hold most dear require our time and attention. What do you need to remember? What’s most important to you?

Find the time, form the plan, focus on what matters, and follow wisdom.

And no matter how busy we get, we should remember that we are not alone. That God will never forget us. We are engraved on the palms of his hands, after all.